Bananas on the Run

Dole has introduced Japan’s very first banana vending machine. It uses a conveyor system to deliver your tasty tropical treat with minimal bruising. This is great news for all those salarymen and OLs who may still be obsessed with the banana diet.

A PR spokesperson for Dole in Japan says they hope hurried consumers will choose fresh fruit over typical packaged convenience store fare.

So if you find yourself in Shibuya Station near the Hanzomon Line and a monkey with a gun confronts you, asking, “Do you have a banana?” you can say, “Yes, actually. Let me just hop over to this vending machine and get you a whole bunch for just 390 yen. Now, please, put the gun away.”


Well, That Was Fast.

No big surprise here – lovably alien-like fashion plate and Japanese Prime Minister Yukio “Bird” Hatoyama has resigned, due to being atypically wishy-washy and indecisive.

And by “atypically” I mean “totally – almost comically – typical.”

Hatoyama is the fourth consecutive PM to resign within a year of taking office.

(Quick! Can you name the last 3? Ha! Didn’t think so.)

Current Finance Minister Naoto Kan is the favored candidate to become the next PM.

I’m certainly going to miss his UFO-riding, sun-eating, Tom Cruise-lovin’ ex-Takarasienne wife.


Stephen Colbert Learns Japanese

… from that Scary McCreeperson robot voice simulator. He also defends his previous “racist Chinese” accent as simply brain damage.

If this doesn’t make you laugh, something is wrong with you.

The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Robotic Voice Simulator & Foreign Accent Syndrome
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

Fans in Japan Reinterpret Lady Gaga’s Fashion Statements

I adore Lady Gaga. (Haters to the left! The video for “Telephone” was epic!)

And so do her Japanese fans.

Here’s just a small sampling of several dozen pics of fans as they head to Yokohama Arena for Gaga’s concert over on TokyoFashion.com. I love the Tokyo street fashion sense mixed with Gaga’s crazy stylings.

Lady-Gaga-Japanese-Fans-2010-04-17-056-P7235-600x450

Lady-Gaga-Japanese-Fans-2010-04-18-050-P7414-600x903

Lady-Gaga-Japanese-Fans-2010-04-17-057-P7238-600x903

Lady-Gaga-Japanese-Fans-2010-04-17-076-P7271-600x903

Lady-Gaga-Japanese-Fans-2010-04-18-040-P7388-600x903

Head over to TokyoFashion.com to see the rest.


Tokyo Damage Report: Bombshell Interview about Japanese Music Industry

… well, specifically Visual-kei, but one can extrapolate, non? It’s epically long, but a very fascinating read. Strap on your seatbelts, kids.

An excerpt:


“SATOH-SAN: Keeping the fantasy intact is the biggest priority. If there is no image, no fantasy, the band will never get big.


TDR: You mean, if the guys talk to fans, and let slip that they’re working the midnight shift at 7/11, or living on ramen and pachinko, it’ll be hard for the fans to picture him as a bisexual 17th century British vampire space-man after that?


SATOH-SAN: You understand this phenomenon very well!

visual-kei

(cut)


TDR: So they’re not supposed to be sexy?


SATOH-SAN: No, they’re sexy, but they don’t exist in the same universe as the fans. They don’t have chlamidya (sic), they don’t worry about child support payments, they don’t have girlfriends or baby-mamas. They don’t have a stinky van. The fans don’t want to think about that! They want a dream, (not a man or a woman), they want a higher being, a look out of a fairy-tale. That’s why we do all the makeup and hair. It’s not about the guitars or playing A-flat in a Lydian mode.”

Rock on.


Rivals Kim Yu-Na, Mao Asada Medal at Vancouver Olympics

So last night was the highly-anticipated showdown between Kim Yu-Na of South Korea and Mao Asada of Japan. After the short program scores, Kim was in the lead, and thanks to a flawless free skate in which she set a world record under the ISU judging system she won the gold medal.

Skate America Figure Skating

Immediately after finishing her free skate program she burst into tears of relief. Probably because she won’t have to deal with enraged “fans” that had previously sent her angry hate-mail for earning less than the gold medal in other competitions. Given the recent spate of high-profile figures in Korea committing suicide due to public backlash, here’s hoping Kim can take a breather and enjoy the moment. (This should also keep any angry Korean fans from threatening to blow up another embassy.)

Kim’s main rival was the Japanese champion Mao Asada. Mao ended up in second place due to a couple of slip-ups on the ice. However, she became the first female skater to successfully perform two triple-axel jumps in the same ISU program. Which is impressive in its own right. I mean, could you do anything that cool that at 19 years old? Yeah, me neither.

mao-free

Mao still packed a sad at the medal ceremony and later told reporters that she regretted her mistakes during her free skate program. Hey, cheer up, Mao. At least you have your very own hina doll. Maybe Mao can commiserate with Evgeni Plushenko, then secretly have both their medals dipped in platinum.

So on the medal podium, there was Kim crying from relief, Mao looking like she was ready to cry then cut a bitch, and poor Joannie Rochette crying because now she can finally mourn her mother. God, what an emotional event.

joannie


How do you say “cosplaying geek” in French?

It doesn’t matter, ’cause the French can make something as ridiculous as dressing up like a comic book character look chic and uber cool.

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More pics of French people generally being fabulous in costumes that rock over at io9.


Tokyo Drawn from Memory

Autistic artist Stephen Wiltshire can draw a fully detailed panorama of a city from memory, even after viewing it just once.

Here’s his amazing rendition of the Tokyo skyline:

tokyo-wiltshire

Full panorama is here. (Note: it takes a while to load, so grab a snack or something. But it’s totally worth the wait.)

Via Gawker.


This Wednesday on South Park…

Stan celebrates his birthday at the Denver Aquarium… when suddenly the Japanese arrive and attack the dolphins!

Stan then makes it his mission to save the dolphins from the Japanese.
(In case you haven’t heard of The Cove, check this out.)


Dr. Romanelli Vs. Hello Kitty

When I think of Hello Kitty, I think:

hello_kitty_angel

Or sometimes:

hello_kitty_castle

Or even:

hellokittydarthvader

But some things take the Hello Hitty image too far. Like this new “anatomy” figurine below.

It just makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and cry. Why, Dr. Romanelli?! WHY!?

dr-romanelli-hello-kitty-toys-front

Do. Not. Want.


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